As it turns out after writing a few of these, it has made me want to write more.  It’s been a competition with myself to see how much I can write before I stop caring about it.  Almost as if it were a test.  How much can I write about?  How many ideas do I have?  What else am I thinking about that I can write about? 

I talk with myself, have conversations, and come up with scenarios that will never happen.  Sounds weird or crazy, but I do it.  I have been doing it all my life.  I’ve never seen it as a bad thing.  It harms no one else but me at times.  Not all the time but I do judge myself hard, to the point of throwing up due to how disgusted I am at myself.  Crazy!  I know. 

Writing is not decreasing my mind from running.  It almost feels like writing is distracting me from being overwhelmed.  Distracting me from the bigger questions.  But it feels good.  That is what matters to me right now.  I want to feel good and content.  In a way I’m having fun during the process.  I want to let myself write as long as possible.  To see if this new habit sticks.  As this is still fresh, I want to see how much is possible and how much time it involves.  Although time does not seem to be a constraint at this point.

With regards to writing I’ve learned some stuff along the way and placed some parameters for myself.  For example: I want to keep everything to 1 page with 1-inch margins.  I like small paragraphs.  I like to relate one page to another, as if it were a story.  I don’t want to be too hard on editing back what I wrote.

In addition to the parameters, I want to start reading.  I want to experience how other people write.  I am thinking of staying away from fiction.  I want to read self-help books, I started a list for my Kindel reading and only will be adding book as needed.  I will not search the web to find the best books I will just add to the list if I hear of a book as a recommendation.  I will only be reading 1 book at a time. 

I will continue to watch my regular YouTube channels and only subscribe to one more if needed. I will continue not watching YouTube Shorts because I don’t want to get sucked in for 3 hours.  I will try to not overwhelm myself with information overload on how or where to publish.  I will continue to use Pinterest for clothes and shoes and Reddit for r/oddlysatisfying.  I will be my own Content Cop.